This Fun Factory Patchy Paul review is a celebration. After quite a few mediocre toys lately, I was starting to think that I was getting jaded to the whole sex toy review thing. Was everything just lower quality than I expected, falling short of my expectations? Are my expectations just too high? Perhaps, but not where Fun Factory is concerned. Patchy Paul is a powerful vibrator that does exactly what I want without sacrificing an adorable aesthetic.
Paul and I go way back, although not in person. Patchy Paul was the first Fun Factory vibrator I ever saw in person, back at the sex shop which predates my current favorite sex shop (Oh My Sensuality Shop in Northampton, MA). This was the first cute vibrator I’d ever seen. I asked about it, and was told about Fun Factory for the first time. This was almost 20 years ago, and Fun Factory was still a new company, but the name stuck in my brain. I couldn’t afford Paul back then, but as I began reviewing Fun Factory toys, I always remembered the company bringing friendly aesthetics to sex toys in an era where that was revolutionary.
When Fun Factory asked what I’d like to review next, I remembered Patchy Paul, and they sent me one to try. Of course, this isn’t the Patchy Paul from the early 2000s. This Paul is new, sleek, updated, and pretty damn effective.
Out of the Box
Fun Factory packages their toys in appealing boxes with clear pictures. Paul comes in a box with an outer sleeve depicting the toy, and a label. Der Vibrator. They’re German, obviously.
Slide off the sleeve, open the box, and there’s Paul, sitting in his red cardboard tray.
Here he is on the bed with magnetic charging cable.
I took pictures of this toy from a lot of different angles so you could see his various curves and widths. Here: enjoy the Patchy Paul Photo Shoot.
Yes, by the way, he IS a smiling worm. He has tiny little bumps for eyes, and a definite curve to look like he’s grinning happily at you. I have to say, I think it’s adorable.
The controls for Patchy Paul are three buttons on the handle: a power button and a plus and minus. You can see magnetic attachment points for the charging cable at the base of the handle.
The handle itself is shaped so you can hook your fingers through. This, I must say, is my favorite style of Fun Factory handle. You can anchor this in place with rope, and it’s easy to hold onto with slippery lube hands.
The texture of the toy is silicone, with a plastic handle. There’s some flexibility in the body of the toy, but most everything about Paul is decently firm.
Into My Box
I wasn’t necessarily expecting much from Patchy Paul. He’s a cute vibrator, with a good girth, but I have used internal vibrators before, and they’re always a “fun but no finishing move” type of toy. I almost always pair them with clitoral stimulation, either through another vibrator, or by hand. There’s nothing wrong with adding clit stimulation! I’m just saying, internal vibrators are seldom a “one and done” toy for me.
But Paul. Oh, Paul.
The moment I turned this toy on, I realized it was a master of deep, rumbly vibrations. This wasn’t a surface vibe with buzzy, itchy stimulation. No way. Inside my vagina, the toy was a wonder.
What Makes Paul So Great?
First, the toy is a lovely length and girth. I like a-spot stimulation, which is stimulation of that spot deep against the anterior fornix. That’s the spot just past the cervix. I don’t like having my cervix railed, but I love when a toy hits the fornix. Paul does that for me, and the curved “nose” of the vibrator is situated just right. I can also slide the toy halfway out and use that nose to press against my g-spot.
The real magic is in those vibrations. For me, the rumbly vibrations are deep enough that it stimulates my clit from the inside. And not just a little bit, either. Full-on, intense, traveling vibration that gives me the same feelings as rubbing my clit, but deeper. Since the internal arms of the clitoris surround the vagina on either side, this type of rumbly vibration hits them through the vaginal walls, and it’s like a fucking Christmas tree of explosions all throughout my nervous system.
Holy fuck, people.
The toy is also girthy enough that the part of the vibrator that still remains outside sends vibrations through my labia, all up the sides of my vulva, and that stimulates my clitoris from the outside, too. Yup. Full circle clit stim. It’s no wonder that the first time I used Paul, I came in about a minute flat.
I’ve used it countless times since then, and each time, it’s a joy. Sometimes, my nerves aren’t reacting as strongly, and I use clit stimulation, but Paul is still great for some deep, internal support vibrations.
Cheers and Caveats
Cheers for another crackerjack amazing Fun Factory vibrator. It doesn’t pulsate or thrust, and it doesn’t need to. It does one thing obscenely well. The vibration options include varying intensities as well as patterns, so you’ll probably find something to do it for ya.
More cheers for waterproof vibrators. All of Fun Factory’s toys are created with high quality, body-safe materials, and most (like Paul) are waterproof. Plus, the magnetic charging that allows for waterproofing is the coolest shit ever.
Cheers for excellent design and an adorable aesthetic. This vibrator always makes me smile. Plus, with an ergonomic handle and a quiet motor, everything about this design shows care.
Caveat: these smiles don’t come cheaply. Patchy Paul will run you a whopping $139.99, and while I say it’s worth every penny, that’s a lot of pennies. This is not financially accessible for everyone.
Caveat: Fun Factory says Patchy Paul is anal-safe, but there’s no flared base on this guy. I wouldn’t trust it for internal anal use. Sure, it’s hard to get all 9″ stuck up in there, but I wouldn’t put it past some ambitious anal aficionado to go too far. As always, your mileage may vary. Play with caution.
Patchy Paul is a legacy vibrator, one of Fun Factory‘s earliest designs. Just like Fun Factory, Paul has evolved, and this evolution is a triumph of function and engineering. He’s lived on my bedside table since I first charged him up, and he’s not getting replaced anytime soon. Consider saving up for one for your own nightstand or the nightstand of someone you love. You can buy one online from Fun Factory.
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