Dicks Ahoy: The Satisfyer Vibrator Line

I have no idea if putting the word “Dicks” in the subject line of this blog post is going to fuck my SEO six ways from Sunday, but that’s okay. This post is a massive roundup review of the Satisfyer line of vibrators. There are so many vibrators, but they’re quite similar except in some design features, so I’m going to talk about them en masse.

Ready? Buckle up. The dicks are on their way. The Satisfyer Vibrator Line is coming, and you will be, too.

The Line-Up

Here are a bunch of vibrators Satisfyer sent to me, all in their boxes. These are the subjects of this post. Note: There were more, but I gave some away.

Top row, left to right: Charming Smile, Mister Rabbit, the Master

Bottom row, left to right: Power Flower and Yummy Sunshine

So the names might leave a bit to be desired, but as you can tell, this is an array of vibes of different sizes and shapes.

The vibes they sent me that aren’t pictured are the Magic Bunny and the Petting Hippo.

I’m going to show you each of the vibes out of their boxes.

Charming Smile

The Charming Smile is a light purple vibe that’s shorter than the others, with a curve for g-spot stimulation and a raised ridge for possible clitoral stimulation. It’s a great design for shallower stimulation or focused attention on the G-spot.

Mister Rabbit

The Mister Rabbit vibrator has a separate clitoral arm and an internal shaft for dual stimulation. There is just one set of buttons for the rabbit, so the internal and external stimulation is only controllable as one. As you can see, the clitoral arm is very flexible to let it fit a wider variety of bodies. This toy tapers, so the tip of the shaft is narrower than the base, providing what I find is a pleasant “wider” stretch at the base.

Master

The Master is undeniably the girthiest, largest vibrator in this whole set. It looks undeniably penis-like, too, with a light brown “skin-like” tone and a pronounced head. This is a bit of a stretch for me, but one I find pretty pleasant.

Power Flower

Just a note: the wetness you see in these pics are because I washed it out of the box, not any personal fluids.

The Power Flower is an external clitoral vibrator with three petals so you can imagine you’re being sucked off by the demogorgon from Stranger Things.

Sexy.

The design hugs the clitoris for penetrating vibration, but the toy itself is not meant for penetration. It’s an external device.

Yummy Sunshine

The Yummy Sunshine has a curved internal shaft with ridges and a slightly raised bump for some clitoral stimulation. It’s not quite a rabbit, but it’s got a design that allows for internal and external vibration.

Function

This line of vibrators is made very well. The vibrators themselves are surprisingly rumbly, not very buzzy, providing fairly good penetrating vibration. They all have the same set of vibration intensities and patterns. They’re all one-motor toys, even the ones with external arms. All these toys are waterproof, also, and they’ve got that nice hole in the handle for easy grip and maneuvering.

There were a few standouts. The Master is a strong, large vibe that sends vibrations nicely through my internal parts even though it isn’t designed with an external vibrator. The Power Flower is a worthy competitor for the Fun Factory Volta, even if it’s not quite as effective.

Design

This is where my feelings get a little iffy. This line of vibrators is clearly modeled after Fun Factory’s vibrators. Take a look at the Big Boss, the Lady Bi, and the Volta. The Petting Hippo also looks quite strikingly like Patchy Paul, which I reviewed and loved.

Nobody’s fooled by this, right? These are not original designs.

I don’t know what the legality is of copying a sex toy design, and frankly, that’s not my expertise. But it does skeeve me out a bit when the designs are so blatantly modeled on those of another company.

Fun Factory‘s toys are more expensive by a significant margin, but they are also stronger, rumblier vibrators.

Do with this information what you will.

Final Thoughts

The Satisfyer line of vibrators is well-made, aesthetically pleasing, and diverse in form. Many of the designs are also modeled on existing toys from other companies, only at a way cheaper price point. If that matters to you, keep it in mind, and if it doesn’t, ignore it. As for me, I do find these vibes very enjoyable to use and excellent choices for gifts, first vibes, or even for experienced vibe owners.

Happy wanking.

Affiliate links are being used in this post. I received these products for free, but that does not affect the honesty of my review in any way.

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