Deep Sea Dicking: The Geeky Sex Toys Mermaid Dildo Review

I’ve had the pleasure of fucking a lot of different things in my adult life, but until now, I’ve never fucked a mermaid dick. Thanks to the wonderful people at Geeky Sex Toys, though, I’ve now had the pleasure…and you should, too. As purveyors of the weird, the wonderful, the just-barely-off-brand, Geeky Sex Toys has sculpted a gorgeous dildo that hits all the right spots while having a quirky aesthetic I adore. This mermaid dildo review celebrates a delightful “dildo of the deep” that–yes–hits deep.

Background Info

I’ve reviewed for Geeky Sex Toys before, and I love their company. They’re making themed toys for geeky people that balance brand aesthetic with high quality materials. I loved their bi pride dildo as well as their tentacle dildo. They contacted me before the holidays to see if I wanted to review again, and I said (of course) sure! When they asked if they could send me something brand new that they thought I’d enjoy, I was intrigued and excited. When this mermaid dildo arrived, I knew my branding was spot on. They get me, folks. They really get me.

Enough dawdling! Onto the dickening.

Out of the Box

First off, there’s no box. Geeky Sex Toys is a small-batch sex toy company, and without mass production, there are no decorated boxes to indicate the product, Instead, the dildo comes in a cloth bag inside their regular shipping box. Note: since the last time I got products from Geeky Sex Toys, they’ve switched from satin bags to cloth, and I’m a big fan of the change.

Sex toys in bags

(I got two dildos from GST, and I’ll review the other one in another post.)

In hand, the mermaid dildo is a gorgeous shimmery green and gold, with a tip that’s somewhat like a cross between a penis and a tentacle tip (see, they do understand me). It has “scales” for a bit of texture.

This, please note, is the small version of this dildo. The large I can only assume to be the size of a cannon. Not that this is bad! Rock on with your bad self. The small is the right size for me.

The base on the mermaid dildo comes off, which I figured out mid-use when it started to get a little wiggly. This means one can remove the base and use it with a vac-u-lock attachment, which means I can use it with my fucking machine. Folks, I am 100% excited to get on board with this.

But I digress. As-is, the base provides some suction cup capabilities. The shaft has a moderately sized head and then widens steadily down to the base, as pictured.

Into My Box

The mermaid dildo is a beautifully designed toy. As soon as I started using it, I noticed the pleasant texture of the scales, which was noticeable but not raised enough to be uncomfortable. I liked the girth of the shaft as it got closer to the base, providing width where I wanted width.

The curve of the head is also nice: it gave me g-spot stimulation on shallower penetration, and then on deeper penetration, a-spot stimulation. It hit the spot right behind my cervix beautifully. As I mentioned earlier, the base is detachable, and it wiggled a fair bit as I started more *ahem* enthusiastic use, but not enough that it was actually a problem. Once I figured out the base was detachable and not just breaking, I was much happier.

The silicone itself is firm but not stiff, providing a bit of flexibility and some textural “give” when you press on it. This makes for a very nice body feel overall.

Kudos and Caveats

Kudos for a great shape: g-spot stimulation, a gradually widening shaft, and slightly raised “scales.” This shape feels great to use.

More kudos for a base that detaches to allow for Vac-u-lock play, or just if you prefer to use it without the base.

Caveat: this isn’t a small toy, and if you like more slender stimulation, this probably isn’t a toy for you. If you prefer girthier toys than this, well, it comes in a large size as well.

Kudos for the beauty of the toy itself. Gold, green, sparkles? It’s beautiful.

Kudos for calling this the mermaid dildo. Seriously, this could easily be “merman,” since it’s shaped like a penis, but Geeky Sex Toys doesn’t have time for your gender essentialism. I love that.

Caveat: this isn’t a cheap dildo, but it’s also not a cheap dildo. It’s going to cost some money, but it’s manufactured by top-quality materials and supports a small business. And while I’m at it…

Kudos for being produced by a small business.

The final kudos go to their shipping policies: Geeky Sex Toys is an Australian company, but they ship worldwide for $15 flat rate, and if you spend over $100, shipping is free.

Final Thoughts

Geeky Sex Toys makes unique dildos, and the mermaid dildo is a beautiful addition to any collection. Get it for yourself to fulfill your aquatic fantasies. Get it for someone you care about to fulfill their aquatic fantasies. It’s well-made, artfully designed, and feels great to use. Go fuck a mermaid.

This product was provided in exchange for my honest review. Affiliate links are being used in this post, and buying a product through these links helps benefit this blog.

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