It’s finally here — the moment you didn’t know you were all waiting for. That’s right! I’m finally, finally reviewing a Hismith Sex Machine. I’m reviewing specifically the Hismith Premium 4.0, which is a fancy full-service fucking machine that now lives in my bedroom. Hismith asked me to partner up for this review, and hopefully other future collaborations, and you know me: totally game.
In truth, I already owned a previous model of the Hismith from pre-pandemic days, but I never wrote the review. It was fate. Hismith sent me a new and updated model, so I was able to box up my previous one and show you the whole process of assembling this beautiful beast.
Let’s get started!
First Impressions
The Hismith arrived in a nondescript cardboard box wrapped with a judicious amount of packing tape and weighing as much as a small sun. Inside that box is a waterproof travel case containing all the goods.
Innocuous, isn’t it? You’d never know that a SEX MACHINE hides inside! And if you tried to pick it up, you might think instead that I’m smuggling cinderblocks.
Open that magical zipper and here’s the first layer of fun.
This carefully designed foam protective layer includes the main machine (that blue-looking thing up there, although that color is an illusion of the light), plus three boxes each individually wrapped. Those boxes contain a controller, power adapter, and dick.
Remove all these items and the foam layer, and you’ll get to layer two, which is construction material.
Support bars, Allen wrenches, and a shaft for hooking up the attachments.
Building time! It’s like Ikea, but for sex.
This sexy sexy image includes my Hismith Premium 4 fucking machine and a peek at some dirty sheets. This is the real content, people.
The only thing missing from this above picture is the part that you hook the attachments to! Here is a better look at that.
Yes, beautiful.
This is a Kliclok connector end. Attachments that fit into it have little metal hexagons set into the base, and when you slot them into the end, it connects easily. Then, just pull back on that metal coupler to disconnect. Easy and quick. More on that below.
The whole machine was super easy to put together. All I needed was the (included) Allen wrench, and it took me about ten minutes and no additional help.
The Hismith comes with a Kliclok dildo. Here it is, looking uncomfortably shiny and very penis-y.
You can see the little hexagon above that connects into the coupler.
Hismith offers many attachments. Here are two of my favorites.
This is an adapter for a Vac-U-Lock dildo, which is the kind that have a hole in the bottom (usually for a suction base).
With this attachment, you can connect any Vac-U-Lock dildo into the Hismith system. Since Vac-U-Lock is more common than Kliclok, this provides great versatility, and I highly recommend you get it.
The other attachment I love is the suction cup converter.
Hismith offers two sizes for the converter: the 3.5″ (seen above) and the 5.5″. If I did it over again, I’d get the 5.5″, as many of the wider-base dildos just baaaaarely fit in the 3.5″ once compressed (for suction). But the 3.5″ works well! The back of this disk has a hexagonal connector so it slots into the coupler.
Here’s the coupler in action. If you look closely, you’ll see how the silver coupler ring slots forward when something is locked in.
Simply slide back that metal ring, and whatever’s attached will pop right out.
When you’re not using the Hismith, it comes with a cover (or you can add one to your order) to protect the components from getting dusty.
How It Works
The Hismith Premium 4.0 Sex Machine is an elegant and simple design. I don’t speak motor, but I know it converts rotational motion to lateral motion, aka the part inside goes around and around and the shaft goes back and forth. The side of the machine body has an adjustable knob so you can shift the range of the rotation, and therefore control the stroke length. You can set it to just a bit of motion, like an inch or two back and forth, or full deep penetration.
The machine requires direct wall power — this is not battery-operated! — so you need to run the cord to an outlet. Once it’s hooked up, you can control the speed of the device with the attached digital controller or with the app.
The Premium 4.0 glows based on the speed of the machine. It goes from blue (seen above) through a beautiful gradient of intensity all the way up to red. Let’s watch it in action! This is set to longest stroke length.
The App
The Hismith app connects via Bluetooth, and it has a lot of fun functionality. Fun-ctionality, if you will.
It connected right away for me. Once you create an account, you have access to a library of patterns and options.
The main screen of the app shows different modes, which are preprogrammed sequences other people create and upload. It shows the most popular right away, which you can see in the background of the above screenshot. The menu at the bottom, and what’s in focus in that screenshot, are the four main options.
- In solo play, you can drag your finger on the screen to control speed, shake the phone for speed, choose preprogrammed patterns, etc.
- Remote play, you can share a link to your device.
- Mode play brings you to the full collection of those preprogrammed sequences, where you can sort by most popular, most recent, etc. You can also create and upload your own.
- Group play lets you create a group room for some shared fun.
In Use
First, a Caution
Setting up the Hismith for use takes time and patience. Even when it’s built, if you want to use it on a bed, you’re running the adapter to the wall, plugging in the controller, setting up your attachments, and figuring out exactly the right height and angle for your chosen activity. The body of the Hismith can move freely up and down the metal support poles, so you can set it to whatever angle you want.
If you’re using this with a partner, it’s definitely easier to set up. If you’re using it alone, as I generally am, it takes more time. Set it to a particular height, then get in position and see if things line up. If not, get out of position and adjust. You can theoretically find the sweet spot and, say, leave the machine exactly like that for storage, but it’s not perfect — your bed might be harder or softer at certain places, and the machine might sag more, etc.
This is to say that you’re not using the Hismith on impulse. You need to give yourself some time with the setup every time.
If you’re good to get fucked on the floor, well, it’s probably a bit faster. But I’m in my 40s now and generally prefer my hips to survive the encounter.
Now, a Celebration
Folks, the Hismith Premium 4.0 is FUN. Oh my god, what a glorious experience to get a good railing whenever I want! I love the setup process, too, even though it’s time consuming. The anticipation is magnificent. And then, when all the parts are situated and sufficiently lubed, and I can just enjoy the ride? Holy hell, delightful.
Using this with a partner is equally fun. It’s delicious to hand over the controls and submit to whatever they choose. Combine this with bondage and you’ve got a recipe for an incredible night.
Other Considerations
I strongly encourage you to put down a large towel and use copious amounts of lube. The Hismith motor will move forward past minimal resistance, and so you want to be prepared. It won’t move forward past significant resistance, but that’s not good for the machine. So — line up and lube up.
The Hismith is very quiet at lower speeds, as you can tell in the videos. If it starts to get louder, it needs lube of a different kind. The paperwork that comes with it gives you maintenance instructions. Take care of your fucking machine so it can take care of you.
Final Thoughts
The Hismith Premium 4.0 is an investment at $600. Hismith has models ranging from $500 to $1800 depending on the functionality you’re looking for. There are some entry-level models for $150-$350, but for the true fucking machine experience, you’re not going to get much cheaper than $500. Is it worth it? Totally subjective, but I’ll share that I bought my first Hismith full price and never regretted the investment. It served me well for many years before I got to upgrade through this partnership.
This is a niche product and it’s not for everyone. But if you’re tempted? You’re probably tempted for a good reason. Take the plunge and see what excitement a Hismith can bring into your life!
You should buy your Premium 4.0 directly from Hismith. Use the code HISMITH10 for 10% off!
I received this toy in exchange for my honest review. Affiliate links are being used in this post, and buying a product through these links benefits me and this blog.