High On You: Tantus Hookah Dildo Review

Sometimes, a dildo comes along that is so cute, so perfectly aligned with my aesthetic, it feels like a gift from the sex toy gods. This Tantus Hookah review celebrates such a dildo. Even though it has a slightly unfortunate name — meant to elicit thoughts of Alice In Wonderland’s Caterpillar, but instead reminiscent of tobacco and weed — the Hookah is damn cute and effective.

Out of the Box

As soon as this arrived, my husband took one look at the box and said, “Have fun with that.” And true; I did not check the dimensions of the Hookah before requesting it for review, and it is Girthy. A fair beast, to be honest. I looked at this monster in his box and thought, “That’ll fit.”

Like all Tantus dildos, this one comes in a white box with a clear front so you can see the gorgeous dildo within. After all, beauty is what’s inside.

Hookah in box

I wanted to try the Hookah because of how much it looks like a tentacle. If you’ve been reading this blog, you know how I feel about tentacles. Out of the packaging, the Hookah does have that swirly, bumpy aesthetic.

One important thing to note is that the Hookah’s silicone is the kind that picks up every single strand of fuzz or cat hair. Every time I set it down on my mattress or anywhere else, it came away covered in something I don’t want in my vagina. I had to keep rinsing it off. That’s why it looks wet in all the pictures.

The Hookah is a tapered dildo with three prominent bumps, widening to a substantial base. Here are some shots of it from the front and side, with my hand for reference, and one from the bottom.

Here are a few where I hold my thumb up to various parts so you can see the dimensions.

Into My Box

I am not gonna lie; I was both excited and intimidated to try the Hookah. It is Girthy, as I previously mentioned. Although I do make a substantial amount of my own lube, I found extra lube necessary for this endeavor.

The Hookah is broad, but it has a tip much smaller than the widest bumps. I was able to work the first two bumps in without a problem. At the third bump, though, I ran into difficulty. I can take that width in a tapered dildo, but the bump itself is steeply angled, and it was a bit too much stretch to slip in easily. Still, with the right enthusiasm, I can manage.

This is a toy that makes me feel really full and stretched. I love that feeling in the right circumstances. The different bumps and ridges feel incredible going in and out, and it hits my g-spot while also giving me a lot of pressure right in the lower inch or two of my vagina. That’s exactly the kind of simulation I like, and I keep returning to this toy over and over.

Kudos and Caveats

Kudos for a lovely tentacle aesthetic. Those curves and bumps and swirls are delightful.

Caveat: Cleaning those bumps and swirls is a pain. There are a lot of crevices for fluids to get stuck in.

Kudos for width and depth and size. This is a dildo you KNOW is in you.

So many kudos for a dildo that doesn’t look like a penis. Seriously.

Kudos for a flared base that makes it suitable for harness play, and anal play for anal experts.

Caveat: this silicone is never going to stay clean. You are gonna have to rinse it constantly.

Kudos for a dildo that isn’t the most expensive in the Tantus stables, while still being good quality.

Final Thoughts

The Hookah is one of my new favorite dildos. It’s got bumps, it’s got size, and it’s cute as hell. I have been recommending it to a number of people online who want something new in a dildo. You can get the Hookah online through Tantus.

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