This post is fourth in a multi-part series on sex toys. You can find the other parts here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Miscellaneous “Kinky” Toys
Ahh, kink. Kinkiness comes in many shapes and sizes: your “vanilla” might be my “rocky road.” There’s a whole range of kinky toys out there depending on your personal tastes. Let’s look at a few of them.
If you have nipples, you can enjoy nipple play. Clamps are perhaps the most common form of nipple toy, but you don’t need to purchase anything specific: good old-fashioned clothespins are great for starters. If you want a more intense sensation, wrap a rubber band around the business end of the clothespin.
If you want to buy something specially for the purpose, great! You have some choices. Tweezer clamps are the gentlest type of nipple clamp. If you want a bit more pinch, try an adjustable squeezer clamp or a plier-type clamp. If you’re not a newbie, and you want some really intense sensation, get some clover/butterfly clamps. Note: these babies are big and heavy and wonderful, but they sure aren’t for everyone. I own all of these and they’re all delightful.
If you want to try another type of nipple play, try some nipple suckers. Supple Nipps makes a really cool device just for that purpose; they were an impulse purchase when I bought them, but now they’re a favorite go-to toy. They work well on men, too.
Want to try bondage? Unless you really want to do the “police fantasy” thing, or enjoy some purple wrist bruises, don’t use metal handcuffs. Really. I got this valuable piece of advice when I was first getting into bondage, from a lovely store clerk in a little local sex shop. She recommended some faux-fur-lined velcro cuffs with straps. She strapped one of my wrists into it and pulled it here, there, and everywhere by the strap, and by the time she finished, I was sold! (And a little turned on.)
Now, I give you the same recommendation. Consider getting some actual leather or fake-leather cuffs. If you’re not ready to go that far, try the “silk scarf” route. If you enjoy spending money, every bondage company out there is putting out gray necktie bondage systems inspired by a certain popular book… or you could just use your own neckties. Dealer’s choice.
Want to try rope bondage? (Unf. Me too. But that’s a different story.) There are lots of books about how to tie people up. I’ve done a lot of “research” using Chanta Rose’s Bondage For Sex. Hot models, beautiful rope work, and some very clear instructions.
Want to try bondage but don’t have a headboard? In my house, we love the Under the Bed Restraint System. It gives any bed the attachment points necessary for bondage play.
Spanking, Paddling, and Flogging… Oh My!
If discipline is your thing, chances are you’re being taken over someone’s knee or taking someone over your knee at some point. People use lots of household implements for spanking, but that’s just the tip of the punishment iceberg. So if you don’t know a crop from a whip, listen up.
A paddle is short, broad, and usually has a handle. Paddles give contact to a wide area, spreading out the sensation. A flogger has a handle and a collection of strands, which can be made out of a variety of materials. Floggers can give a variety of sensations from a thump to a sting. Some floggers have rubbery strands, like this one, and give you some sensory options during play. A crop has a long handle and a narrow tip, offering a sharp, focused snap. Any of these options can be used by beginners, but like any toy, do your research and start slow.
Now for a couple more. A whip is a long, single strand of leather, or sometimes several strands braided together to make one. A cane is a flexible rod, often made out of some kind of wood. Both whips and canes can cut the skin and leave marks. Neither is a beginner’s toy. If you’re interested in playing with whips and canes, or doing any kind of advanced physical discipline, find yourself a mentor first.
That’s all for now on the Wide World of Sex Toys! I think I’ve covered the basics in these past few articles. If you want information on a specific topic not covered in these articles, or if I’ve inspired you to buy a new play toy, please comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
15 thoughts on “The Wide World of… Sex Toys: Part 4”
Thanks so very much for the Sex Toys series, Elia! You have definitely inspired me to try out new toys – I have a lot of kinky fantasies with the guy I’m crazy about, and I get so horny thinking of what would happen if he did rope bondage with me and pleasured himself with me in every way he wanted. I would also want him to try nipple clamps on me and handcuffs. And I’d leave the choice of flogger/belt/cane to him, if he ever thought I needed a little discipline, which would be extremely hot, because I probably do. Reading this was such a turn-on, thinking of all the different ways he would control and dominate and play with me. I have a question for you; what kind of rope bondage scenarios/positions are you interested in?
Hi Sara! I’m glad you found these posts so helpful and interesting. Good luck with your guy!
As for where I stand, personally, I channel my interest in bondage and kinky sex into my work. While there’s no direct correlation between my own interests and my characters’ – they are, after all, fiction – I never write about things that totally turn me off. So you’ll have to wait for the upcoming books!
Thanks for the well wishes about my guy 🙂 I can’t wait to read Purely Professional and the your other upcoming erotic books! I’m getting turned on just thinking about it. I’m so horny today lol
Why is rope bondage so hot, do you think, Elia? I can’t stop thinking about rope bondage fantasies with the guy I’m crazy about. It’s so fucking hot; I love being controlled.
I think every sexual person has their hot buttons, and as long as they keep things safe, sane, and consensual, everything’s great.
Yes, that’s a good way of looking at it, Elia. I’ve never done rope bondage before but it is a major fantasy.I have a ton of fantasies I’ve never actually done before, because I’ve been waiting to try them with the right person. Safe, sane, and consensual is a good motto for bdsm play 😉
One of the things that turns me on so much about rope bondage, besides the control aspect, is the aesthetic aspect. I get turned on thinking about the guy I’m crazy about spending time doing beautiful rope work on me, almost turning me into an art object, before having his way with me. I love to be looked at; I love thinking about him taking pictures of me all tied up in a beautiful rope design of his choosing. I can only imagine how incredibly turned on I would feel in the moment, feeling him stare at me from different angles, not knowing what he was going to do to me and being helpless to do anything about it. So hot; it makes me wet right now thinking about it lol.
if you had to recommend starting with a paddle, flogger, crop, or hand, which would you say to start out with, Elia? Thanks! I’m not about to go to the store today, but just thinking ahead for future play.
Any toys that are going to be used with a partner, I recommend both parties choose something together after doing some research, based on what both think they’ll enjoy. I don’t think there’s one “starter” toy that works for everyone. You might want to talk to the experts at your local kink shop! Good luck.
thanks for the advice, Elia – good as always. I’ll wait til the guy I would be playing with is ready, cause I don’t have someone I’m playing with now, and obviously I’d need my guy’s input, as you mentioned. I was just thinking for the future, my wanna-be-dream-future, that is. Thanks for helping!
Hi Elia, I’ve been checking out erotic online, and I was wondering if there was any way you could give a hint how to find you on clean sheets, like a hint or something? pretty please? 🙂
I’m sorry, Sara! I’d love to, but giving out that name combines the two halves of my life in a way that is too public for my day job to handle. Thanks for seeking me out, though! I can’t wait until I have some novels out for everyone to enjoy.
It’s ok, Elia, I understand. Hopefully someday I figure it out.
[…] This post is second in a multi-post series about sex toys. For the other parts, click here: Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 […]
[…] This post is third in a multi-part series on sex toys. You can find the other parts here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 […]
[…] This post is first in a multi-post series about sex toys. For the other parts, click here: Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 […]