Swimmingly Simple: Paloqueth Mermaid Review

This Paloqueth Mermaid review is not breaking any new ground. It’s a straightforward vibrator that’s straightforward and effective. But in this day of fancy bells-and-whistles sex toys, sometimes a simple, inexpensive vibrator is a breath of fresh air. With its strong motor and basic design, the Paloqueth Mermaid is a good starter vibrator and a staple for the average toy box.

Out of the Box

Paloqueth packages their toys in sleek black boxes with the company logo embossed in gold on the outside. For a $22 vibrator, the quality of the packaging is top-notch.

Paloqueth black box with gold lettering

Inside, you get all the wonderful things seen here: a vibrator, a charging cable, some vague instructions, and a purple satiny storage bag.

Paloqueth items including vibrator and storage bag

The Paloqueth Mermaid is elegantly curved, much like an actual mermaid tail, and it even has a bit of a mermaid tail shape at the bottom. It’s not particularly girthy or skinny, but decidedly average.

Here you can see it from the top, as well as with my thumb for scale:

The Mermaid has one button. You push and hold the button to turn the toy on or off, and then you cycle through the settings by pushing that same button. It’s pretty straightforward.

To charge the Mermaid, you stab it through the silicone in its little dimple. If you’ve never done this before, it’s a disconcerting process. For me, Sex Toy Reviewer Extraordinaire…it’s STILL a disconcerting process.

The stabby dimple where you plug in the toy
The “stabby dimple” is right over the DC letters above

Seriously, folks, you never get used to it.

Into My Box

I’ve used a wide variety of sex toys and vibrators, and it’s hard for me to use a new toy without comparison. So where does the Mermaid fall in the general rankings? It’s fine. It’s not the best, it’s not the worst. The Mermaid is a solidly good vibrator.

The motor is decently quiet, although not silent. The vibrator itself is moderately rumbly, although not as rumbly as a more expensive toy like something you’d get from Fun Factory or We-Vibe.

As performance goes, this toy is effective and straightforward. It’s not a powerful enough vibrator that I can get off with just its internal stimulation, but that’s okay! With clit stim, it’s smooth sailing.

The vibrator isn’t as wide as some. The widest part of the toy is near the tip, which is good for g-spot stimulation. Personally, although I’d like a bit more girth, the current dimensions make it much more accessible as an entry-level (heh) vibrator.

Note: with no flared base, this toy is not safe for anal play. Vaginas only, folks.

Kudos and Caveats

Kudos: This toy is cheap! At just $22, it’s a good-quality vibrator at a bargain-basement price.

Kudos: Rumbly vibrator, at least moderately.

Caveat: Those looking for a girthy vibe won’t find it here.

Kudos: It’s body-safe silicone and completely waterproof, even if you have to do the creepy stab thing to charge it.

Caveat: With just one button, if you miss the setting you like, it’s a lot of circling back.

Kudos: With elegant packaging and a sleek design, this feels like a much more expensive vibe.

Final Thoughts

Simplicity is underrated in our world of increasingly complex sex toys. For those just getting started in their collection, or for any folks who want a basic internal vibrator without breaking the bank, the Paloqueth Mermaid is a great choice.

You can buy the vibrator online directly through Paloqueth. If you use the code “Elia” at checkout, you save 15% and I get a small bonus, which is a great way to say you appreciate this blog.

Paloqueth supplied the Mermaid in exchange for this honest review.

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