There are a lot of toys out there that claim to mimic the sensation of receiving oral sex. And, universally, they all fail. (Are there exceptions? Let me know.) But just because a toy can’t mimic oral sex doesn’t mean it’s a bad toy. The oral sex simulator from Fondlove doesn’t feel anything like oral sex, but it’s still pretty fun.
Out of the Box
The box for the Oral Sex Simulator is a simple white box with an image of the toy and its remote control on the front.
Open it up, and the toy and remote are inside with a storage bag, charging cable, and instruction booklet.
Once you take a closer look at the toy itself, you’ll see why it gets the name of the Tongue Flower in my house.
My husband immediately said it looked like that flower that only blooms once every year and smells terrible. I think it looks like a cross between a Faberge egg and a Fleshlight. The gist of it is that it’s a mouth, with lips and tongue, and the tongue vibrates.
The base is a suction cup that you can attach to a surface. The button to turn it on and change intensities is on the side of the toy, and you plug it in by stabbing through the silicone on the bottom of the base.
The remote control… looks like a parrot? I’m not sure why.
Once the simulator is on, you can push the parrot’s eyeball to cycle through a variety of vibration options. Don’t think too hard about pushing the parrot’s eyeball.
Onto My Box
I’ve already said this thing doesn’t feel like oral sex. So what does it feel like?
Well first off, it’s buzzy. It’s more of a surface vibe than a deep rumbly vibe. I expected that after my last encounter with the Fondlove butterfly vibe. But what’s good about the oral sex simulator, or Tongue Flower (as I’m going to call it), is that it’s got a smaller, pinpoint surface for the vibration. The tip of the tongue is narrow and precise, so it transmits buzzy vibrations right where they need to be. The vibrations don’t have to be strong in order to be effective, as long as the toy is lined up properly.
Lining it up properly is a bit of a challenge. I spent some time moving my labia around and the toy around, getting it to stay in place. I was not successful lining it up right when I suction cupped it to a surface, but I could get it to work well on my back while I held it with my hand or between my legs. The “lips” of the toy also transmit some vibration, but the focus is in the tongue. And then it’s a pretty standard vibrator.
The Tongue Flower has a variety of patterns: different vibration strengths, then short/long combinations and ramps up and down of intensity. It’s a nice variety. I personally don’t like patterns as much as steady vibration, so I just let it rock the steady vibration after trying out all the patterns. One I got it situated where I wanted it, I had no trouble getting off with it.
Bonus: the remote worked really well, even when I held it far away from my body. I’m confident it has a decent range.
Cheers and Caveats
Cheers to body-safe silicone and to making the toy waterproof.
More Cheers for a remote control that doesn’t have to be held right next to the toy.
Caveat: it’s a buzzy vibrator, not a rumbly one, so that might be a deal-breaker for you.
Cheers for the price. This toy is only gonna set you back $23.
Caveat: It’s not gonna feel like oral sex. Not even close. The texture is nowhere near a tongue, and it vibrates rather than licking. If you’re looking for an Oral Sex Simulator, like this toy is named, look elsewhere. (And probably give up, because I don’t think they exist.)
Caveat: This thing is weird looking. I chose it in part because of its uncomfortable, mildly terrifying appearance, but that might be a turn-off for you.
Cheers for a fun product overall. I can get off with it, and it’s got a neat shape to mess around with.
The Tongue Flower, or Oral Sex Simulator, is a pretty fun toy from Fondlove. It doesn’t look like anything else I’ve seen on the market, and while it’s not a great mimic of oral sex, it’s got a pleasant vibration and an interesting conceit. You can do worse for $23, that’s for sure! Not a good choice as a beginner’s vibe, but a fun product for someone who wants to try a little something different.