The Fourth Day of Dicksmas: UVee Review

Dicksmas is a little unusual this year, folks. You may have noticed that Day 1 was a kegel strengthener, not a sex toy. Well, it’s Day 4, and I’m not reviewing a sex toy today, either! Today it’s a UVee review, where I talk about the UVee Home Play sanitizing system. It may not get your rocks off, but it’ll get some germs off, and that is pretty darn cool.

Background Info

I contacted UVee after seeing their product in a local sex shop. I thought this was a pretty neat idea: a case that sanitizes toys with UV light. I occasionally share toys, and while I clean them thoroughly, I like anything that gives me peace of mind. I originally wanted to use this before I went to Dungeons and Geekdoms this past August, because I would be letting other people handle my toys at a workshop — in an educational way, not a sex way — but I didn’t receive it in time. That’s okay! I’m reviewing it now. 

Out of the Box

The UVee Home Play system, the larger of the two UVee systems, comes in a decent-sized box that’s clearly marked.

UVee outer box

It doesn’t look like a sex toy product explicitly, but it does include “play” in its packaging, and I’m a pervert, so… I guess it’s pretty obvious to me what this product is for.

Inside the box is a well-protected case packed in styrofoam.

UVee in open box

Out of its protective box, the Home Play system is a black case. Even though it’s a hard shell material, the touch of the surface is soft rather than slick. It’s got a nice hand-feel. Speaking of hands, here’s how big it is with my hand for scale.

The case locks. It’s got a standard three-digit lock that comes set to 000 and which you can easily set to a combo of your choice.

UVee lock

When you open the case, it looks kind of like the love child of a dishwasher and a fluorescent light bulb. In some ways that’s what it is. It comes with two metal dividers that fit into the bottom tray, I guess in case you don’t like your toys to touch each other or something. I know some people are like that with food.

UVee inside

Conveniently, it also comes with 3 USB charging ports on one side.

UVee charging ports

Into the Box

Here is the UVee Home Play with some toys inside it. You might recognize some from previous reviews, as well as one that’s coming up soon — the Dalia! That’s the pretty ceramic one in the bottom. Review coming soon. 

UVee full of toys

I easily fit two Fun Factory pulsators, the Dalia, and the Paloqueth Dolphin in the UVee. I could probably throw a We-Vibe or two in there as well if I wanted. One thing I noticed is that the Fun Factory pulsators, since they’re run by a magnetic thrusting motion, stuck to the racks. Yay magnets.

The UVee starts automatically when you close the lid. It runs a ten-minute sanitizing cycle where it blasts the toys with UV light and presumably kills the germs. While it’s working, the logo glows blue. That light goes off when the cycle finishes.

UVee logo glowing while charging

 Out of the Box Again

The cycle finished and I took out the toys. They looked the same, of course, but I knew they were sanitized. The deal is, I don’t have the equipment to check whether this thing actually kills germs. I don’t have a microscope. However, it’s won a bunch of awards, and the bulbs are UV-C bulbs, a wavelength which does kill germs, so I trust ’em.

But the UVee isn’t the only way to kill germs. You can also sanitize many of your toys with a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or even in the top rack of the dishwasher. Check your manufacturer’s instructions to be sure. Dangerous Lilly, whom I love, has a very thorough cleaning guide for sex toys.  UVee is one way, but it’s not the only way.

The UVee website is a bit scare-tactic based, with lots of stuff about how bacteria is going to eat your body from the inside out if you don’t sanitize your toys every time, but… it’s a bit of an exaggeration. Obviously you want to clean them, but you can clean your sex toys without a $180 sex toy cleaner box.

And Yet…

I kind of love this thing. 

See, I’m a lazy fuck. And after I’ve come, I am very prone to wiping off my toys with a tissue and not washing them until the next day. Am I gross? Yes. I’m gonna wash the toy eventually before I use it again, but anything that makes it easier for me to get rid of bacteria is good stuff.

This isn’t gonna replace the need to wash toys. If it goes in the box covered in jizz, it’s coming out covered in bacteria-free dry jizz. UVee is clear that toys going into the box need to be “rinsed or wiped clean of visible signs of use,” which means get your jizz off them. But once they go in the box? They’re done in ten minutes, and I don’t have to mix up a bleach solution. I wash my toys all the time, but I’m going to actually sanitize them more often with the UVee.

 Cheers and Caveats

Cheers for a device to sanitize toys easily. This is really great for people who share toys, but it’s also good for anyone who doesn’t want to deal with bleach solutions or is otherwise searching for something simple and straightforward. 

Cheers for working fast. I kind of expected this thing to take like six hours to clean, but it takes ten minutes. I can live with that.

Caveat: price. The UVee home play isn’t cheap at $180 – $200. If you’re splurging on sex toys, you might find this worthwhile, but it’s going to be beyond the reach of many.

Cheers for a lock. I don’t lock my sex toys, since I live in a home where my sex toys are literally on display, but I understand why people might want to do so. 

Cheers for having USB charging ports in the device itself, so you can clean AND charge your toys at the same time!

Caveat: the mismatch of charging and cleaning: the cleaning cycle takes 10 minutes, and my toys take, like, hours to charge, so… I guess it’s good if you’re going to leave them in there. I don’t want my cleaning to take longer, so I guess this is a pretty petty quibble. (I’m petty.)

Cheers for a device for reminding people to take care of their sex toys and clean them.

Caveat: using scare tactics that imply UVee is the only way to kill bacteria. The website never says this outright, but it makes the implication.

Final Thoughts

The UVee is not a super necessary device, but it’s convenient, and I love it. I probably would have bought it if I didn’t receive it in exchange for this review. You don’t have to be a lazy fucker like me to want this, but if you are, you should get one. Or get one for the lazy fucker you love. I’m sure UVee doesn’t want Lazy Fucker to be their marketing target demographic, and you not-lazy people can certainly find a lot to love in its efficient 10-minute cleaning cycle and slim profile. It’s straightforward, it’s convenient, and it’s getting a thumbs up from me on the fourth day of Dicksmas.

This product was provided in exchange for an honest review. At the time of this posting, no affiliate links are being used in this post. 

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