I review unusual sex toys every time I get the chance. I’m always happy to review a new vibrator or dildo, but when I see something that breaks the norm, I’m there. I’m here reviewing the Funzze Vibrating Nipple Suckers, which aren’t perfect, but are certainly a lot of fun.
First Impressions
Funzze packaging is simple cardboard with a paper sleeve for branding. I like this: it’s unassuming and doesn’t generate any plastic waste.
Once you get into this box, you’re treated to a host of fun items — everything you see here.
In addition to the nipple suckers, which I’ll discuss in more detail below, you get a remote control, instructions, charging cable, and a satin bag to hold it all. (It’s a big satin bag because these take up some space.
Here is the anatomy of a nipple sucker.
On the outside is a single center button at the nipple for turning it on. Below is a magnetic attachment point for charging. Inside is a round disc with pointed nubbins.
The suckers are very squishy, as shown here.
The nipple suckers are controlled by this remote control that looks like a tiny coffin.
One button cycles through the various intensities and patterns, and the other button turns them off. The nipple suckers are controlled together, not separately.
So let’s talk function!
In Use
To apply the nipple suckers, invert the cup so the brushy part is sticking out. Apply to nipple and then un-invert the soft cup over the breast. The silicone forms a light suction to keep the nipple sucker in place.
A few notes about this product. They use light suction to stay in place, but the toy itself does not apply any suction, despite the name. The remote control is used to control vibration intensities. The brush part of the cup vibrates but does not rotate or move over the nipple. You must turn on both cups manually with the push-button on/off switch before the remote will work.
The Funzze vibrating nipple suckers provide a nice level of stimulation across the nipple, and it’s fun to have that kind of stimulation on both nipples at once. While I was disappointed the toy wasn’t actually providing any suction, I did like the novelty of the product, and it was very pleasant to use and fun to cycle through the vibration intensities and patterns.
Kudos and Caveats
Kudos for a novel, fun idea for a sex toy. The Funzze vibrating nipple suckers are different than nearly everything else I’ve used.
Kudos for being sized for multiple breast sizes. The suction works regardless of size, I believe, and the broad pad is suitable for small-to-large nipples.
Mixed bag: the cups don’t stay fully situated on the breast for too long. The vibration tends to break some of the suction, so if you’re moving around a lot, they are likely to shift.
Less a “caveat” (beware) more a “be aware”: The on/off switches on each cup light up when they’re on, and so when using these in the dark, your nipples turn into the beacons of Gondor. This made me laugh every time.
Kudos for making them submersible waterproof. These might stay on even better underwater because of the added suction, but I didn’t try them like that. You could, though!
Mixed bag for price. At $40, these are not prohibitively expensive, but I was hoping for a bit more functionality at that price point. Even so, I think this is within “let’s try it for myself and see” price range for many of my readers.
Final Thoughts
The Funzze Vibrating Nipple Suckers are fun and new. They’re a bit silly looking, but they provide nice stimulation in conjunction with other types of play. If you enjoy light nipple stimulation but don’t want to mess with pain and clamps, I think these are a great find. You can purchase these directly from Funzze.
I received this toy in exchange for my honest review. Affiliate links are being used in this post, and buying a product through these links benefits me and this blog.