It’s definitely a “guilty pleasures” time of year. The holidays brings out the best in indulgences, from rich food and drink to staying up late and sleeping in the next day. This time of year, I’m spending a lot of time just goofing off with my husband and partaking in these and many other “guilty pleasures,” and I’ve been thinking about the guilt part of it. I’m no stranger to guilt. Some was ingrained in me by my upbringing, and some I bring on myself. Sometimes I can’t help thinking that if I’m having fun, there must be something wrong. Surely I should be miserable and suffering, right?
What purpose does my guilt serve, anyway? Guilt is different than just the awareness that I’m making “bad” choices. Guilt continues to work long after the bad choices are made.
I think I want to do away with guilt. When I make choices that don’t serve me, I want to learn from them and move on. But those other times? The times when I choose to indulge? Then fuck guilt. I refuse to feel guilty for enjoying dessert, alcohol, sex toys, midday naps, fanfiction, and pop music.
This doesn’t mean I’m going to dissolve into hedonistic abandon, forsaking work and responsibility for bacon and credit card debt. I still want to get in shape, to eat better, to read the classics and clean my house. But I don’t think it’s an either-or. I’m not an ascetic.
So I guess this is my New Year’s Resolution, if like me you’re the type of person to believe in such things. In 2013, I resolve to try to enjoy the pleasures of life without guilt, and to try and find moderation that lets me enjoy my life while also making it better every day.
Bring on 2013.