Another White Woman Talks About Fall

My name is Elia Winters, and I’m a cliché.

I love the shit out of Fall.

Tomorrow is the first day of October. The nights are cool, temperatures dropping easily into the 40s at night, and the Hilltowns have already experienced their first frost of the season. The leaves are changing, because it’s New England and that’s what they do, and there’s this one tree on my drive home that’s completely gorgeous, a gradient of orange, red, and even purple. Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks are selling Pumpkin Spice Lattes. It’s not just lattes, either: everything is pumpkin.

You cannot escape the pumpkin.

Pumpkin donuts, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin pie, these are normal. We expect these. But I just saw pumpkin spice marshmallows today, which I don’t even know how to process.

Pumpkin Spice Mallows
Do you toast them or eat them straight out of the bag?
You eat them straight out of the bag, right? That’s what I’d do.

And then there are Pumpkin Spice Oreos, which just don’t sound all that good. Why would you mess with Oreos? Aren’t they the perfect food already?

Do you dunk these in your Pumpkin Spice Latte?

There’s more, of course. Lip balm, body lotion, air fresheners, dog shampoo… Pumpkin Spice is something we do well here. It’s like the marketing department of every company just throws up their collective hands and says, “Fuck it! Just make everything pumpkin this month. Let’s all go get wasted.”

I want to be cynical about the whole thing, but I just can’t do it. I love Fall! I love the crisp mornings, the changing leaves, the pumpkin spice flavored everything. I love trading in my T-shirts for sweaters. I love buying and carving pumpkins and do not get me started on how much I love Halloween.

I guess I just have to accept that I’m a cliché.

I don’t own any yoga pants, though, so maybe there’s hope for me yet.

One thought on “Another White Woman Talks About Fall

  1. Amen sister! I am also part of the cliché and proud of it! Give me a pumpkin latte, a cider donut, flannel shirt and scarf then drop me in a pumpkin patch or apple orchard. I will be happy for days… or at least until I run out of latte…

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