National Masturbation Month is ending way too soon, and I haven’t given any anal toy recommendations. How can this be? I love anal play! I think people should stick things up their asses far more often!
I’m going to rectify that mistake right now.
I’m going to make an ass-load of puns in this post.
So, without further ado, let’s take these anal toy recommendations and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!
(Hmm, will using the word “ass” in the title of this post keep me out of Google? I don’t think so.)
The Little Flirt: For Anal Beginners
So, you’ve never stuck anything up your ass before, eh? Okay, maybe a finger, and maybe it was kind of cool, but you’re not sure what the fuss is all about. Look no further, anal newb. Tantus has you covered with the Little Flirt, a tiny unimposing anal toy that’s just like sticking a finger up your butt, only it can stay there and you don’t have to twist weirdly around and hurt your spine.
The Little Flirt is thin, which is good for beginners. It’s also silicone, so it’s body-safe and easy to disinfect (boil it or toss it in the dishwasher). The base is narrow in one direction, meaning it fits nicely between your cheeks, whereas round bases tend to dig in uncomfortably after a while.
Since this toy is silicone, you can’t use silicone lube with it, and silicone lube is great for anal play. This is a “meh,” not a “bad,” because you can still use water-based lube. The rectum absorbs the water from most lubricant after a while, meaning water-based lube loses its effectiveness after a while. If you’re wearing the Little Flirt for a while, you’ll need to reapply lube or have a very uncomfortable removal process.
Also, this is very much a beginner’s toy. If you like anal play, you’ll “outgrow” this toy very fast. It’s fun to learn on, but you won’t be using it for long.
A great beginner’s toy, but be ready to invest in something more substantial after a while.
The nJoy Pure Plug: For Anal Enthusiasts
So, you’ve been sticking things up your ass for a while, eh? And you want something new, something exciting? The lack of a new toy is a hole in your life? And you’re looking for something new and delightful to fill that hole?
(Literally. The hole. You’re filling it.)
This brings me to my favorite anal toy: the nJoy Pure Plug. Like all nJoy toys, it’s stainless steel, expensive as hell, and gorgeous. I say “it,” but there are actually three different plugs: small, medium, and large. (Also SUPER LARGE, the Pure Plug 2.0, which I hold in awe.) Like Goldilocks, I find medium to be just right, but if you’re buying this plug, you probably know your body enough to know which one you should get.
Unlike silicone, stainless steel is nearly frictionless, so insertion is smooth and easy without the “catch” of silicone. You need less lube for the same reason. But you know, anal play is no place to be stingy with lube. Again, because it’s not silicone, you can use silicone lube, which is fabulous for anal play since it won’t absorb into the rectum as quickly (seriously, did you read the post above, or just skip down here because you’re an ass pro? No judgment). Disinfecting is a breeze with boiling or dishwasher, just like silicone.
Stainless steel is weighty, too, so you actually feel this toy inside you. Because of the shape, it stays in place really well. The narrow handle fits nicely between your cheeks, and since it’s a ring, you could tie a cute little tail on there if you’re so inclined. Rawr, indeed.
This is an expensive toy. Expect to pay $65 – $85 for it, because it’s a big hunk of stainless steel.
You get what you pay for, and the nJoy plug is a lot of end-Joy. PUNS.
I asked yesterday if any of you have tried self-bondage for sexual gratification. 82% of you have never done so, but 18% of you have. Thanks for sharing, and have fun!
Today’s #MasturbationMonth poll is VERY SERIOUS.
What do you think about when you masturbate?
— Elia Winters (@EliaWinters) May 27, 2016